PEACE: The basics
As humans, at some point in our lives, we will find ourselves engaging in behaviours that increase our suffering and get in the way of us living and rich, fulfilling meaningful life.
These range from overeating, excessive food restriction and alcohol misuse to overworking, unnecessary busyness and excessive social media use.
What all these behaviours have in common is that they offer us a sense of emotional safety in the short-term by protecting us from experiencing intense, vulnerable emotions such as anxiety, anger and grief, whilst increasing our stress and distress in the long run.
When we look deeply enough at even the most self-destructive coping strategies, they begin to make sense. They serve a purpose. And usually, our overeating or overworking or overthinking is a way to protect us from what our brains perceives to be threats.
But, sometimes, the brain is overprotective. It interprets safe signals from the body such as bodily sensations and emotions, as if they’re dangerous – even though there is no real threat. And so our unhealthy coping strategies are our best attempts to find emotional safety. And these unhealthy coping strategies do work to temporarily relieve our stress and anxiety, giving us a sense of safety, but they also reinforce to our brain these these emotions are dangerous and that we need to fight or flee from them using alcohol or food or work or whatever avoidance strategy we've stumbled across.
Why our brain misinterprets our feelings as threats matters less than how we can teach our brain that these feelings aren't dangerous (and therefore we don't need to use unhealthy behaviours to avoid them). But understanding the mechanisms that may have triggered our overeating or overworking or whatever unhealthy coping strategy we tend to use, can help reduce the shame around it.
There are several bio-psycho-social factors involved in why we find ourselves using coping strategies that we know are unhealthy. These include (but are not limited to):
This means that whatever your unhealthy behaviours are, they are not your fault. They are caused by multiple, intertwined bio-psycho-social factors.
What this also means, is that, by teaching our brains that the vulnerable emotions we're trying to avoid through our unhealthy coping strategies are not threats, we no longer need to use those behaviours that move us away from living a fulfilling life.
These range from overeating, excessive food restriction and alcohol misuse to overworking, unnecessary busyness and excessive social media use.
What all these behaviours have in common is that they offer us a sense of emotional safety in the short-term by protecting us from experiencing intense, vulnerable emotions such as anxiety, anger and grief, whilst increasing our stress and distress in the long run.
When we look deeply enough at even the most self-destructive coping strategies, they begin to make sense. They serve a purpose. And usually, our overeating or overworking or overthinking is a way to protect us from what our brains perceives to be threats.
But, sometimes, the brain is overprotective. It interprets safe signals from the body such as bodily sensations and emotions, as if they’re dangerous – even though there is no real threat. And so our unhealthy coping strategies are our best attempts to find emotional safety. And these unhealthy coping strategies do work to temporarily relieve our stress and anxiety, giving us a sense of safety, but they also reinforce to our brain these these emotions are dangerous and that we need to fight or flee from them using alcohol or food or work or whatever avoidance strategy we've stumbled across.
Why our brain misinterprets our feelings as threats matters less than how we can teach our brain that these feelings aren't dangerous (and therefore we don't need to use unhealthy behaviours to avoid them). But understanding the mechanisms that may have triggered our overeating or overworking or whatever unhealthy coping strategy we tend to use, can help reduce the shame around it.
There are several bio-psycho-social factors involved in why we find ourselves using coping strategies that we know are unhealthy. These include (but are not limited to):
- Unmet physical and psychological needs
- Genetic predisposition to vulnerable emotions such as anxiety
- Traumatic stress, chronic stress and adverse childhood experiences
- Heightened stress reactivity and sensitivity to threat
- Excessive vulnerable 'negative' emotions
- Disturbance in neural pathways that process and regulate feelings
- Neuroendocrine dysregulation
- Core beliefs about feelings, body and true self as 'unacceptable'
- Lack of secure attachment figures in childhood
- Lack of safe relationships as a adult
- Low emotional granularity
- Psychological inflexibility
- Lack of healthy coping behaviours
- Societal conditioning encouraging emotional suppression
This means that whatever your unhealthy behaviours are, they are not your fault. They are caused by multiple, intertwined bio-psycho-social factors.
What this also means, is that, by teaching our brains that the vulnerable emotions we're trying to avoid through our unhealthy coping strategies are not threats, we no longer need to use those behaviours that move us away from living a fulfilling life.
The anxiety-stress spiral
When we have a lot of fear around experiencing intense and vulnerable feelings (both bodily feelings and emotional feelings), it reinforces to our brains that these feelings are dangerous, which creates a spiral:
And the cycle continues.
We break this cycle by teaching our brain that experiencing anxiety and other vulnerable feelings is completely safe. Yes, vulnerable emotions are unpleasant and uncomfortable, and sometimes painful, but they are not dangerous. And, as we train our pain that vulnerable feelings are safe, it will rewire and, overtime, they will fade.
There are two main goals of practising PEACE:
The primary aim of PEACE is not to get rid of our intense bodily feelings and emotions (but this generally happens overtime as a nice byproduct). Rather, the goal of PEACE is to change our relationship with our vulnerable feelings so that our brain no longer treats them as threats we need to escape from.
PEACE retrains our brains and nervous systems to interpret signals from our bodies accurately. Over time, this rewires the brain, reshapes the nervous system and reduces the painful and unpleasant feelings that drive our unhealthy coping strategies.
- Vulnerable feelings (such as anxiety and shame) are misperceived as threats.
- Threat activates the stress response, activating the sympathetic nervous system and putting the brain on high alert.
- Activation of the sympathetic nervous system increases vulnerable feelings.
- Which are perceived as threats.
- Which increases activation of the sympathetic nervous system.
- Which increases vulnerable feelings.
And the cycle continues.
We break this cycle by teaching our brain that experiencing anxiety and other vulnerable feelings is completely safe. Yes, vulnerable emotions are unpleasant and uncomfortable, and sometimes painful, but they are not dangerous. And, as we train our pain that vulnerable feelings are safe, it will rewire and, overtime, they will fade.
There are two main goals of practising PEACE:
- To teach your brain that vulnerable feelings are not dangerous.
- To foster a sense of safety in your body and brain.
The primary aim of PEACE is not to get rid of our intense bodily feelings and emotions (but this generally happens overtime as a nice byproduct). Rather, the goal of PEACE is to change our relationship with our vulnerable feelings so that our brain no longer treats them as threats we need to escape from.
PEACE retrains our brains and nervous systems to interpret signals from our bodies accurately. Over time, this rewires the brain, reshapes the nervous system and reduces the painful and unpleasant feelings that drive our unhealthy coping strategies.
PEACE: Pause. Explore. Affirm. Connect. Expand.
Below is a summary of the practice, along with a more detailed breakdown of PEACE and a couple of guided meditations.
There is no right or wrong way to practise PEACE. Some people like to use it for five minutes in the morning, other people prefer to use at for a few seconds at random points throughout the day, or when they notice unpleasant feelings arising. Play around and see what works best for you.
Because the goal of PEACE is to change our relationship with our vulnerable emotions and unpleasant bodily sensations, it’s helpful to be experiencing a low-medium level of anxiety, shame, or whatever inner experience is triggering the urge to engage in an unhealthy behaviour whilst you practice (this in known as 'internal exposure therapy' because we are gently exposing ourselves to the feelings we fear).
PEACE is an acronym for:
P – Pause and pay attention
E – Explore your inner experience with compassion and courage
A – Affirm safety
C – Connect with sensations of pleasure and memories of joy
E – Engage with the world.
There is no right or wrong way to practise PEACE. Some people like to use it for five minutes in the morning, other people prefer to use at for a few seconds at random points throughout the day, or when they notice unpleasant feelings arising. Play around and see what works best for you.
Because the goal of PEACE is to change our relationship with our vulnerable emotions and unpleasant bodily sensations, it’s helpful to be experiencing a low-medium level of anxiety, shame, or whatever inner experience is triggering the urge to engage in an unhealthy behaviour whilst you practice (this in known as 'internal exposure therapy' because we are gently exposing ourselves to the feelings we fear).
PEACE is an acronym for:
P – Pause and pay attention
E – Explore your inner experience with compassion and courage
A – Affirm safety
C – Connect with sensations of pleasure and memories of joy
E – Engage with the world.
Practising PEACE
P – Pause and pay attention
Pause and pay attention to your inner experience, validating how painful these feelings are and noticing and naming what state your nervous system is in (caring-and-connection, fight-or-flight or freeze) and any vulnerable feelings (emotions and bodily sensations) that are present.
For example, you might say to yourself, ‘I'm noticing my nervous system is in a state of fight-or-flight', 'I’m noticing disgust’, ‘I’m noticing shame’ or ‘I’m noticing a craving for chocolate’.
E – Explore your inner experience with compassion and courage
Courageously and compassionately begin to explore your inner experience.
- Where in your body do you feel this feeling most intensely?
- How much space does it take up?
- What are the sensations (e.g. tension, tightness, tingling, bloated, constricted, empty, fluttery, numb)?
As you explore this feeling, simply observe it curiously and compassionately. You don’t need to judge it as good or bad, right or wrong. You don't need to change it or fix it get rid of it. All you need to do is watch it from a place of lightness and wonder.
NOTE: Compassion is the courage to be sensitive to suffering – both our own and others – and to respond to that suffering in a way that will help to alleviate it.
A – Affirm safety
As you explore your inner experience, gently remind yourself that your feelings are safe, that they aren't threats. Remind yourself that your brain is simply misinterpreting these vulnerable sensations through a lens of danger. And, although they feel uncomfortable and unpleasant, there’s nothing wrong with these sensations. Your feelings aren’t dangerous. They are safe sensations.
You might like to say to yourself something like, ‘My brain thinks this feeling is dangerous, but it’s a false alarm’ or ‘These sensations are safe. I am safe’.
C – Connect with sensations of pleasure and memories of joy
Expand your awareness from your vulnerable feelings, to a sensation of pleasure in your body. This might be the feeling of the breath moving in and out of your lungs, the sun on your skin, the softness of your socks on the soles of your feet. Gently lean into these sensations.
If you find it difficult to connect with sensations that feel good in your body (this will get easier with practise), bring to mind a memory of joy – anything from a funny line in a movie you watched last night to a day at the beach with your kids last summer. Let yourself enjoy this memory for a few moments.
E – Engage with the world
Slowly begin to engage with the world around you. Open your eyes if you’ve closed them. Look around. Notice what you can see, as well as all the sounds. Engage with whatever it is you were doing before practising PEACE, or take any mindful action you need to take to meet the unmet need that your feelings might be communicating to you. For example, do you need food? Rest? Movement? Social connection? Play?
Notice that these vulnerable feelings might still be present. Notice that it's safe for them to be there. And notice that as well as these vulnerable feelings, there are also sensations of pleasure and memories of joy and a whole world around you to explore and enjoy.