WEEK 12: TRANSFORMING YOURSELF AND THE WORLD
Transformation is often more about unlearning than learning. Unbecoming before becoming. Unhiding. Unchaining. Unlosing and losing yourself over and over again so that you can be the totally real, beautifully raw, and uniquely magical you. Because the world needs that. The world needs YOU.
If we transform ourselves, we can transform our world. If we can transform our inner world and forgive ourselves, soften our hearts and grow stronger, wiser and more compassionate, then our outer world will transform too.
The difficult thing with transformation is that it is tough. We think of it like emerging as the butterfly, when in reality it is the messy work of pushing out the cocoon. It can be dark and painful as we come to face our demons and everything in our life begins to shift. Some periods of transformation are so confusing that it is difficult to see that growth is happening at all. This is because whenever we go through a phase of personal growth we tend to feel it through hurt, hate or heartache. It can feel like we’re breaking or falling apart, but that brokenness gives birth to a new way of loving, accepting and relating to the world. It creates space for us to grow into something different with a new capacity to become the person we want to become.
One of the hardest lessons I’ve learnt on my journey is that transformation involves loss. Any time we grow, we are going to lose something – identities, relationships, habits, belief systems, the things that make us feel comfortable.
When I decided to find freedom from anorexia, I grieved for the loss of the scared, insecure, emaciated person that I had been even though I no longer wanted to be her. I grieved for the loss of comfort I found in starvation and for the loss of satisfaction I found when the scales went down. When I turned down a PhD and walked away from a career in academia, I grieved for the loss of my academic self even though I knew it wouldn’t give me purpose or fulfilment. And when my ex- boyfriend and I decided to end our relationship, I grieved for the loss of a future I had imagined we would share, even though I knew we had outgrown each other. But loss creates space. As old energy clears out, we allow new energy to enter. We create room for new people, adventures and experiences in our lives.
As we transform ourselves on a personal level, we begin to see life in a new light. We make choices and take actions we never would have thought of taking had we been stuck in old habits and thought patterns. This is how we change the world. As soon as we believe that we are important and our life matters, we recognise that every individual is important and every life matters.
We don’t have to move mountains or revolutionise the world single-handedly. We can transform our lives and the lives of others just by living with acceptance, gratitude and an unshakeable belief in the power of kindness, compassion and love.
As we come to the end of our journey together, and you continue your adventure towards thriving, I want you to remember that the struggles we experience at certain points in our lives do not make us helpless victims of lifelong conditions. Things don’t always go to plan and broken things don’t always get fixed, but if we continue to love and we continue to forgive, we will continue to thrive.
Transformation is often more about unlearning than learning. Unbecoming before becoming. Unhiding. Unchaining. Unlosing and losing yourself over and over again so that you can be the totally real, beautifully raw, and uniquely magical you. Because the world needs that. The world needs YOU.
If we transform ourselves, we can transform our world. If we can transform our inner world and forgive ourselves, soften our hearts and grow stronger, wiser and more compassionate, then our outer world will transform too.
The difficult thing with transformation is that it is tough. We think of it like emerging as the butterfly, when in reality it is the messy work of pushing out the cocoon. It can be dark and painful as we come to face our demons and everything in our life begins to shift. Some periods of transformation are so confusing that it is difficult to see that growth is happening at all. This is because whenever we go through a phase of personal growth we tend to feel it through hurt, hate or heartache. It can feel like we’re breaking or falling apart, but that brokenness gives birth to a new way of loving, accepting and relating to the world. It creates space for us to grow into something different with a new capacity to become the person we want to become.
One of the hardest lessons I’ve learnt on my journey is that transformation involves loss. Any time we grow, we are going to lose something – identities, relationships, habits, belief systems, the things that make us feel comfortable.
When I decided to find freedom from anorexia, I grieved for the loss of the scared, insecure, emaciated person that I had been even though I no longer wanted to be her. I grieved for the loss of comfort I found in starvation and for the loss of satisfaction I found when the scales went down. When I turned down a PhD and walked away from a career in academia, I grieved for the loss of my academic self even though I knew it wouldn’t give me purpose or fulfilment. And when my ex- boyfriend and I decided to end our relationship, I grieved for the loss of a future I had imagined we would share, even though I knew we had outgrown each other. But loss creates space. As old energy clears out, we allow new energy to enter. We create room for new people, adventures and experiences in our lives.
As we transform ourselves on a personal level, we begin to see life in a new light. We make choices and take actions we never would have thought of taking had we been stuck in old habits and thought patterns. This is how we change the world. As soon as we believe that we are important and our life matters, we recognise that every individual is important and every life matters.
We don’t have to move mountains or revolutionise the world single-handedly. We can transform our lives and the lives of others just by living with acceptance, gratitude and an unshakeable belief in the power of kindness, compassion and love.
As we come to the end of our journey together, and you continue your adventure towards thriving, I want you to remember that the struggles we experience at certain points in our lives do not make us helpless victims of lifelong conditions. Things don’t always go to plan and broken things don’t always get fixed, but if we continue to love and we continue to forgive, we will continue to thrive.
Heart-Centred Exploration
One of the simplest and most beautiful ways to transform yourself and the world is one simple act of kindness at a time. Usually this involves helping someone, complimenting someone or thanking someone. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. Common acts of kindness include: saying good morning to a stranger as you walk down the street, offering to pick up shopping for an elderly neighbour, holding the door open for someone, donating your old clothes to charity, bringing a cup of coffee to your assistant at work, sending flowers to a friend going through a hard time, doing the washing up for your family, passing on a brilliant book when you’ve finished reading it, and really listening to someone who needs to open their heart to you.
Kindness is contagious. Just like throwing a pebble into a pond and watching the ripples spread outwards, your single act of kind-heartedness will ripple and radiate into the world. Never underestimate the impact of a simple act of kindness.
One of the simplest and most beautiful ways to transform yourself and the world is one simple act of kindness at a time. Usually this involves helping someone, complimenting someone or thanking someone. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. Common acts of kindness include: saying good morning to a stranger as you walk down the street, offering to pick up shopping for an elderly neighbour, holding the door open for someone, donating your old clothes to charity, bringing a cup of coffee to your assistant at work, sending flowers to a friend going through a hard time, doing the washing up for your family, passing on a brilliant book when you’ve finished reading it, and really listening to someone who needs to open their heart to you.
Kindness is contagious. Just like throwing a pebble into a pond and watching the ripples spread outwards, your single act of kind-heartedness will ripple and radiate into the world. Never underestimate the impact of a simple act of kindness.
Transformation Meditation
Meditation is not just for our own benefit. We want whatever we learn while meditating to be of use so that we can serve others and so that others get the best of us. This means integrating our meditation into our everyday life – meditation in action. This can take years of practice as it means being able to meditate on the world while also functioning in it. It means that each experience we encounter can bring us into a deeper meditative space. This space allows us to stay quiet inside each time we observe, respond, and act in our everyday lives so that we can live consciously instead of out of habit.
Experiment with meditation in action over the next few days, weeks and years. As you walk focus on your breath, as you eat be aware of any mental chatter, and as you interact notice where your mind is wandering. Instead of getting pulled in the directions of anxiety, desire and fear, do your best to stay in your meditative space so that you can see each experience as an opportunity to thrive.
Meditation is not just for our own benefit. We want whatever we learn while meditating to be of use so that we can serve others and so that others get the best of us. This means integrating our meditation into our everyday life – meditation in action. This can take years of practice as it means being able to meditate on the world while also functioning in it. It means that each experience we encounter can bring us into a deeper meditative space. This space allows us to stay quiet inside each time we observe, respond, and act in our everyday lives so that we can live consciously instead of out of habit.
Experiment with meditation in action over the next few days, weeks and years. As you walk focus on your breath, as you eat be aware of any mental chatter, and as you interact notice where your mind is wandering. Instead of getting pulled in the directions of anxiety, desire and fear, do your best to stay in your meditative space so that you can see each experience as an opportunity to thrive.